The Girl With the Boobs and the Hair

Cancer patients have come to look at the positives that come with treatment. Outsiders will guess that cancer patients have a whole new outlook on the world and list benefits such as the new found joy of life, the cherishing of every single day, and the thought to love everyone even more. Well that whole lifetime movie portrayal is wonderful, but cancer patients tend to focus more on the funny, odd things that come from treatment, the positives hidden deep down in the after effects of chemotherapy and radiation. So let me introduce some of the weird benefits that come from chemotherapy and radiation:

Benefit number 1: My new hair is amazing. Yes, my hair is new, I grew it myself, and it stays on. I had lost all my hair to chemotherapy during treatment, and shortly after started to grow it back. Now, in truth, most chemo patients that have their hair grow back are surprised to find it grows back completely different. My hair before was stick straight and blonde. It ended up growing back much darker and curlier. The first few months and first few inches had me resembling Cory from the popular 90’s television show Boy Meets World. As it got longer, it relaxed a little bit and now has more of a natural wave. I have since lightened it myself hoping to resemble the old me a little bit, but I still find it strange that chemo can affect your hair color and texture. This is one of the examples I use when trying to explain how deeply chemo affects one. It can even change their DNA. But, all in all, it is beautiful and without years of damage, and therefore better than yours.

Benefit number 2: I am pretty sure the only reason I have boobs is because of the radiation. This may sound like some kind of joke, but I am convinced that the lasers are the reason I have anything up top. My build before chemo was like a tennis player: Tall, trim, and flat. I was radiated from the very top of my neck all the way down to my hips. After radiation, I have come to find that with my growing hair came a growing chest. This could be chalked up to puberty as well, but I had mostly passed that stage of the game. My mom however is jealous, and every time I leave the house in a low cut top, she tells me she is thinking about getting radiation as well.

Benefit number 3: I have a wonderful conversation starter I take everywhere with me. At the top of the left side of my chest sits a two inch jagged scar. Over time, it has started to fade, but still anywhere I go the first thing people seem to grow curious about is why I have a scar. Most people assume it is because of a heart problem seeing as how it sits on the left side by my heart, but it is in a place to give me multiple ideas for stories. My most frequently called upon story is that of a gang fight when I was turning trick. But I have used things such as a bad boob job, a stabbing, a car license plate, and the occasional ‘What do you mean I have a scar?!?! Where?!?!’ Truthfully, the scar is from a device I had implanted in my chest called a Meta-port. A meta-port sits under the skin in between tissue and is connected to the heart. It is used as a safer and quicker way to administer chemotherapy and other drugs. A needle is just inserted through the chest to the port, and therefore the patient is now what is called ‘accessed’. Still, my scar never fails to be a great conversational piece.

Benefit number 4: Now to be fair, I do have the benefit of looking at life a little differently. More seriously, I grew up a long time ago. I am not your average college girl living in a bubble whose biggest fear is wearing the same outfit as the slutty girl to the sorority party tomorrow night. A splinter is not the most painful injury, and I can talk in depth with others without sounding confused or condescending. I have figured out the whole truth behind quality over quantity, and little moments are not taken for granted. I know who my real friends are, and I focus on them. I take care of the people who take care of me, and are well aware that that will set me up for life. My life is a series of moments, and I know that I need to make the most of them without taking it too serious. I have had something go wrong, and I fought back. Sometimes now I remind myself to accept a slip up or mistake as just something to come back from because it happens. You learn to find the positives in the bad times, like cancer can just equal nice hair and big boobs. Because in the end it’s just boobs and hair, but while I have them I’m going to enjoy them because I worked damn hard to get them. And I would take girl with boobs and hair over girl with cancer any day.